Just sitting here thinking about the Vegas trip I'm taking next
week with my friend from high school Jen. Our first night there we're
going to see the Chippendale dancers preform. Every time I think of this
one of two things pops up in my head. One, the scene from the movie Bridesmaids where the blonde chick from Reno 911
is on the phone talking about how bad she wants to go to Vegas because
she wants, "balls in my face". And two, the night a few weeks ago where I
got to hang out with the Chippendale dancers that came here to my town
to preform.
I am very glad and grateful I got to see them preform for many reasons. I'm a list kind of person so I'm going to make one.
Reasons I'm Glad I Got To See the Chippendale Dancers Preform In My New Hometown
1. I work at a strip club and see naked women all the time. I'm not a lesbian. You catch my drift?
2. They have AMAZING, PERFECTLY sculpted bodies.
3. I got to be picky about the naked men I see.
4. Recently had a very bad break up from someone I love very dearly. He was the last hot guy I got to see naked.
5. Not everyday you see a man that can actually dance.
6.
I got to hang out with them, after being grinded (or ground on? I'm
confused how the past tense form of this word should be in this context.
But if ground on is the proper one I'll have serious issues with that
because it sounds like coffee crushed in my lap.) on for awhile during
the show. And no I wasn't one of those girls scared to touch them, I was
all on that like white on rice.
7. I had a coworker with me, and
she had already met them their previous performance a few days before so
I knew I'd get to meet them. Thanks! *you know who you are ;)
8. The most important reason is I needed something or someone else to think about besides my ex- boyfriend...and it worked.
9. Bragging rights.
10. Possible once in a lifetime opportunity, well at least for most women.
Before heading out that night I debated for awhile on what to wear. I
didn't want to dress up, because that would seem like I was trying to
impress some male strippers, and it's uncomfortable duh. So I wore some
new white lace type of Hollister shorts, paired with a ocean blue snug
Hollister top, and of course sandals. No bra, but underwear. I show off
the ladies in subtle ways when possible. I didn't pay good money not to
get recognition for them. I arrive at the venue early, yes I was very
excited. Waiting for what seems like forever. It had been awhile for me
don't judge me and my eagerness. Finally after what seemed like forever
and a day the doors opened. I payed my cover only after getting hit on
by the bouncers, see my lovely lady lumps pay off. Go straight to the
bar and grab a drink and one for my lady friend that met me there.
Twenty minutes or so later we find out they aren't starting for another
hour and a half. Slightly disappointed we head to the strip club
attached to the building next door and watch the ladies dance. I grab
more drinks. At work I involuntarily watch my fellow coworkers but here
I'm just trying to kill time, and honestly watching chicks dance just
isn't my thing (refer to reason #1 previously mentioned). Some of the
Chippendale dancers came in to hang out before the show. They were hot,
but one was obnoxious like that blue and yellow fish on Finding Nemo.
And the other one acted pissed like someone just prison raped him then
stole all his money. Ten o'clock rolls around and they're finally going
to start the show. Thank freaking God because I don't think I could've
tolerated anymore naked women hitting on these men right in front of me,
especially when I knew they didn't stand a chance. It was actually sad
to watch. And no I'm not cocky I'm confident, I actually just think I'm
cutesy with a hot body. And I was on a mission remember? getting over my
ex. And nothing was going to stand in my way. I don't think any of
those girls in the club that night was experiencing the kind of pain I
was at the time. I'd go into it but I don't want to sound pathetic.
The show started and it wasn't what I expected but it was in a way. I
was just glad to have hot guys in front of me. I'm sure you can imagine
what happened from here. Bare chests walking around, ripped pants,
construction hats, a little lip syncing and a lot of dancing. I
thoroughly enjoyed myself. Did you know they groped you? That was a
pleasant surprise. Even felt a little ego boost rumbling inside of me.
From all that happened that night my ex would've been so jealous AND his
calling me a slut finally rang true. But you know what FUCK YOU
STEPHEN! I'm not going to kiss and tell but by the end of the night
someone's white ass was against a windshield and it wasn't mine, and
that was the SECOND time around that night.
So now
here it is five days before Vegas and a new set of Chippendale dancers
and a different friend. What to do? Do I go for the gold again? I did it
before because I figured it was an once in a lifetime opportunity. Will
it be a twice in a lifetime opportunity? What do I wear this time?
Can't dress beachy because well I won't be at the beach anymore. So
dress deserty, Vegas deserty. I guess I'll wear heels this time. No I
will not wear a bra, I'm not even packing one for Vegas, period. I just
know that whatever happens this time, I'm taking pictures.......and
sending them to Stephen.
*****Stole
the pic from my friend's Facebook, she was smart enough to actually get
pictures of them. I on the other hand got pictures for my eyes only
(then felt guilty and erased them). Sorry ladies!
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