So I work at a strip club. Every night I work I get told I'm trouble. This always bugs me to hear because I'm not sure exactly what they mean by that. I've also been told this outside of the club. What is it I do or say that makes men think this of me? I'm not overly flirtatious, slutty, or give false lead ons to men. OK I'm just not fake, the fakest thing about me is my tits and nails. Other then that I'm always myself through and through no matter what people might think of me. And what do they mean by "trouble"? Trouble as in they think I'm going to rob them, like a hood rat hanging outside a 711 in the ghetto in Downtown Los Angeles? seduce them to cheat on their spouse, and leave them high and dry with either no wife or herpes( I don't have any STD's I get checked regularly as should you, even if you're in a long term relationship because let's face it men are deceitful bastards and they cheat)? make them fall in love with me(not that I've ever accomplished that with a man before) and wipe out their bank accounts, IRAs, CD's, and take their house? steal their kidneys and leave them in a tub of ice? Or the worst case scenario, drug and/or lure them into a warehouse for their dismemberment? I mean really what harm can I cause that I wouldn't feel guilty over later? Yeah I work at a strip club, but that doesn't mean my morals are that off. I do still have some in tact. I don't date married men... anymore. I don't steal ever, because I fully believe in Karma. She's a bitch by the way. I wouldn't even know where to get drugs other then weed, and most times I'm at a loss on that one too. I wouldn't be caught dead in a ghetto anywhere unless I mistakenly took a wrong turn in a foreign country. If you saw me you'd know right away I'm not capable of crime involving my physique. I practically have noodles for arms, and could easily be toppled over by my fake tits. My ass keeps me grounded most days, unless I'm drunk and my equilibrium is pissed at me. And I'd avoid any job that involved blood or scalpels. Except for my internship dental assisting, and that's when I finally said no to those things. People by the way if you didn't already know have nasty teeth/mouths. I guess I was living in a fantasy land where I thought everyone had straight white teeth, uhhhmmmm NO I still have nightmares from the mouths I saw during that internship.
As a result of being told this a record number of times I asked a friend who had also made the statement to me before, why? Their answer : You're very alluring but yet have that innocent girl look." I don't know if I like this or not. To me that sounds like the girl next door type. Which in general is good, but I'm almost 30 WITH four kids, so I'm NOT a girl. So to me that rings soccer mom or MILF. While I like the whole MILF thing it makes me feel old. Same goes with the soccer mom concept. The issue with me is I feel too old to be a girl next door type, but way to young to be a soccer mom or MILF. Yes for the record I am a MILF if I can be the judge of it. So where do I fit in? I'm not a soccer mom. I don't drive a mini van. I'm a decent person, but not a goody goody. In that same thought though I'm not a gold digger or bad really in any way, you know never been arrested. There's got to be more women like me that feel we need our own category that's not satisfied with these regular standard names or groups. Or you know what? I'm more then happy to be a group of one all by my lonesome. So please someone find my "group" or think of one I'd be good in. I just need a good name for it.
While writing this I decided I'm going to start a savings account. Not for anything in particular. I'm just going to require that any man that calls me trouble give me a $1.00. I know the title says "nickel" but we aren't in the 50's, 60's or 70's anymore, there's a thing called inflation and I'm going to cash in on it. So let's just see how long it takes me to make a million. Also all the men who've already told me this your bill is in the mail. THANKS!
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